Isolation Jokes | Lock Down Jokes | Quarantine Jokes to Cheer you up in Corona Virus Session

Cheering you up with most funniest Isolation jokes when you are in lock-down or self isolated. Enjoy this Quarantine season with lots of laughter:


STRANGE!! The virus which is killed with Soap and Sanitizer, Scientists are unable to make the vaccine to kill it.



Girl: Come to my home
Boy: No, I am in self isolation
Girl: My parents are not home
Boy: But they should BE!!!!

By the way... let me remind you that today is SUNDAY | Holiday ..
Me: Doesn't make any difference.. haha

In this quarantine, wife says to his husband: Suppose if I understand you and I agree with everything you say then..
Husband: I can't control my laughter.. Even I cannot imagine this 'SUPPOSE'..


Wife says: Even after lock down I will not let you go to office..
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because you are doing house work better than our maid...

Chi - You made touch phones, touch Television, Touch machines, Touch Laptops BUT...
It is height - You invented disease with touch.. Intolerable..

We can also boast to our upcoming generation in our old age...
Once there was a disease....

Words which are disappeared from our lives during Quarantine:
Where are YOU?
When you will reach HOME?

Got too much of sitting in home then I seen a vegetable seller on the street, requested him to have tea at my home so I can take his vegetable to roam around!

You people cannot sit homes for few days..
Appreciate those engineers who are sitting homes for year..

In this quarantine, there is no use of keeping old chat..
If you read, your heart will break and if your wife reads, your bones will break..

Let you father come in the evening and I will complaint what you did..
Above dialogue of Moms are omitted!

I this lock-down, I became so frank and friendly with my wife that I told her all about my Girlfriend!!

Wife was exploring hubby's phone and found a contact name saved as COVID 19 and she
immediately called...and suddenly her mobile own mobile rang!!
Now husband is in Hospital!

Only your behavior makes you a MAN otherwise mustache can be noticed on girls face as well in lock-down.

Me: We are travelling..
Today we will visit our kitchen - The capital of our HOME..

Everyone is saying that country will go 20 years behind..
Anyhow, let me clear you that I am not going to go to school again!

First Time in History....
Phone call log - there is NO Wife's number....

The human being who gonna stay 21 days in Home - Gonna stay in counting of population of 2021...

Oh My God ! It's your Magic..
Birds and Animals are free but human beings are lock down.. :))((

Let me tell you that once this virus tension will end, I will take 7 days leave and REST!!

Do you know why all temples, church and holy places are closed?
Because Gods are in Hospitals wearing while coats... Salute..

In this lockdown, the earth is so green, neat and nice that I afraid if Dinosaur may come back!

Corona, Earth quake, Rain, ice balls - everything we experience..
Now Ulkapind is left, let him go through as well.

Real LAUGHTER with FUNNY JOKES - Most Hilarious, Million Time Liked

Laughter is HERE so without wasting time, Here you go with Funny New Jokes to laughing on:

Customer asks to lady cashier at Bank: Madam will you please tell me when interest is more while we put inside and when take it outside?
She replies: My dear, The interest depends on how much time you KEEP IT INSIDE

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she'e been googling my name on her laptop.
Me: How do you know?
Me: I saw it through my telescope...


Alcohol is never the answer But it does make you forget the question!

Read more Funny Jokes.

Girls wondering that if trees grew money, we would not mind dating monkeys..lol

Read all funny jokes here


Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!


Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!

What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner

What is so special about Pretty Bunny’s jewelry?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold

Where can you always find a tiger’s head?
Four feet from its tail.

What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.

How do you make one disappear?
Add a ‘g’ or an ‘n’ to ‘one’!

Read all HERE

I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
- Michael Prichard

Boys lie more, but girls lie better.

Please behave well with your wife - anytime restaurants can be closed in this pendamic season..LOL
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.


"ARE YOU ASLEEP??" "No I was in comma , thanks for saving me."


If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name.
- Moshe Dayan


Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce


If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
- Benjamin Franklin


Illustration: Really, it is not an easy task to handle a female for life time. Our smart experienced author Mr. Balzac warns men to attend some special training or program on marriages so that they could bear the pressure of coming tough life after getting engaged.

I think, therefore I'm single.
- Female philosopher

Be sober to your wife because they prepare your food...
Explore all quotes here.