Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
Why are you late?
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
Farmer's wife
How did the farmer's wife get the chickens in to the pot?
She told them it was a chicken jacuzzi.
She told them it was a chicken jacuzzi.
Too much weight
How do you let your wife know that she is putting on too much weight?
You give her a certificate with the title "NUTRITIONAL OVERACHIEVER"!
You give her a certificate with the title "NUTRITIONAL OVERACHIEVER"!
Muscle spasms
How much do you exercise?
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all!
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all!
A mole and an eagle
Q: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.
The florist
Did you hear about the florist who had two kids?
One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.
One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.
Your point of view.
I'd love to see things from your point of view..
But..
What?
But I can not seem to get my head that far up your ass.
The thing to laugh in this joke is some people's mind is not located in head. They always talk strange. So indirectly, he is making fun of his stupid unrelated suggestions. I know you too have that kind of person in your circle, so why not to use it.
But..
What?
But I can not seem to get my head that far up your ass.
The thing to laugh in this joke is some people's mind is not located in head. They always talk strange. So indirectly, he is making fun of his stupid unrelated suggestions. I know you too have that kind of person in your circle, so why not to use it.
Newspaper
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the newspaper!
Imagining chickens doing so can make anyone giggle. They are really so cute but seems to be too busy in their work. Their innocence forces to joke about them.
To get the newspaper!
Imagining chickens doing so can make anyone giggle. They are really so cute but seems to be too busy in their work. Their innocence forces to joke about them.
Go down
What does is smell like to go down on a 75 year old woman?
Depends.
What a bad guy, for the age of 75 year old female, he still finds some chances! isn't it? Everyone else would have been said a big NO!
Depends.
What a bad guy, for the age of 75 year old female, he still finds some chances! isn't it? Everyone else would have been said a big NO!
A pirate in bar
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his pants.
Bartender says, "Hey! Did you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
Pirate says, "Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Bartender says, "Hey! Did you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
Pirate says, "Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Two pairs of trousers
Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
In case they had a hole in one.
In case they had a hole in one.
Brown chicken v/s Brown cow
What do you get when a brown chicken has sex with a brown cow?
Brown chicken brown cow (answering in sing-songy 'bow chicca bow now').
Brown chicken brown cow (answering in sing-songy 'bow chicca bow now').
Chicken coop
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!