Chinese soup

What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup?
Won Ton.

Cut their pizza

How do Maxicans cut their pizza?
Little Caesars

Forced to live

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Yellow and really good at mathematics

Q: What is yellow and really good at mathematics?
A: A yellow calculator.

Bartender and Sandwich.

What did the bartender say to a Sandwich.
Sorry we don't serve food in here!