Best Ever

'You must not be having lots of time to explore all the scrap stuff to find out best. So here is the shortcut to skip to directly world's best jokes ever because excess of laughter never hurts.'

Q: What do bullies and sperm have in common?
A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What is yellow but can't swim?
A: A bulldozer.

Q: What's Forrest Gump's password?
A: 1forrest1

I imagine if ever make my mind to go to job without clothes what benefits I gonna get:
  • It helps to stop those creepy programmers from staring down to your shirt.
  • No one dare to steals my chair.
  • Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
  • Companions will never stealing my pens after they've seen where you keep them.
  • It's an inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
  • And ... ROTFL ... the ultimate benefit.. My boss will never say: I wanna see your as in here by 9:00!

Nothing brightens my day more than the sun.

If at first you don't succeed, try management

What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller...... Mario

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

Yeah, many times I end up headbutting the mirror when I try to hug someone so adorable.

My lifetime experience says that we must aim low, reach our goals and avoid disappointment.

At work i love to gargle with water.

What if I laugh during inappropriate situations.

In my life plans always fail and the best things are usually unplanned, random, and spontaneous.

You must understand the meaning/thoughts behind those attractive Job ads.
  • Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience: You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
  • Problem-solving skills a must: You're walking into perpetual chaos.
  • Good communication skills: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
  • Competitive salary means We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
  • Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
  • Casual work atmosphere means they don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
  • Some overtime: Some every night and some every weekend.
  • Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.
  • Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
  • Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality assurance.
  • Career-minded: Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
  • Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.

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