Showing posts with label Funny Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Jokes. Show all posts
2022 Most Laughable Jokes
2022 was great years but there was also some bad thimgs happened. Our eyes are always on the good side.
Here we are bringing the most funny jokes of the year to make feel fresh, happy and energetic..
Father: What is corn's favorite holiday?
Son: New Ears day
Why did doctory get mad?
Beacause he was losing his patience!!
Husband: You are getting more beautiful with each day!
Wife: How do you know
Husband: Even the breads are jealous of you..
What a man needs for survival?
3 times food and one month net pack free of cost!
They arrested one IPHONE with Firework on new year..
And you know what happened!
One was charged and another was let off...
Funny Jokes - World need Humour to Get over from Pandemic
Well, more than a year has been passed away and still we are under fear. This pandemic has made the world to behave and live not as usual.
We are bringing these great funny jokes to get you escape from all these stresses.
Here we go:
Be good with your partner because you never know when lock down may be annouced..
It is your eyes who makes me beautiful,, Wife said to her hubby with naughty smile..
Drunk husband replied: 'No, not my eyes but my bottle...
99 Funny Short Jokes to Burst Your Mouth with Laughter
Lets directly jump into the ocean of Jokes to quickly make you laugh and enabling you to spread the happiness allover the world.
1. Lady: Finally Doctor has done the operation successfully and my Ear replaced with New One..
Me: Great...... Happy New EAR!! :)
2. Why there no Knock Knock Jokes about America?
Because freedom Rings..
3. Dad to Son: What are you doing son?
Son: Dad, I am reading..
Dad: Good, what are you reading?
Son: Your daughter in law's messages...
4.
Company CEO to his office assistance: There is some urgent pending work in office so you have to come on Sunday.
Office assistance: Well boss, that is not a problem but the public transport is so bad on holiday so I will be very late..
CEO: Not an issue, by when you will reach there?
Office assistance: By Monday!
5. In South Africa, a place called Limpopo is so hot..
even chicken lay boil eggs...
6. Did you hear a joke about London?
It's a riot!
7. Boy: What is your age?
Girl: Stupid, girls don't reveal their age..
Boy: I see.. Sorry! What is your e-mail address?
Girl: ketty_1992@gmail.com
8. Man to young guy: Have you ever seen Taj Mahal or Easter Island's Moais,?
boy: No..
Man: Haha, go sometimes to see the world outside!!
Next day: Again, that man asks to same guy - Have you ever seen Pyramids of Giza?
Boy: No..
Man: Lol, go sometimes and see the world outside!
The another day - That man asks to boy - Have you ever seen.. the boy immediately interrupted him asking...
Do you know James?
Man: No
Boy: Lol, go sometimes, see what is happening in your home.. INSIDE..
9. What is the similarity between Bar and B R A ?
They both are capable to drive boys crazy when they OPEN!
10. Do Chinese realize when they buy Souvenir in America..
They are buying the products Made in China..LOL
11. Ugly boy: I don;t care what girls think of me..
because thousand of Mosquitoes find me attractive..
12. When you wife says: 'Correct me if I am wrong'
Just smile and agree, because it's a trap.. Don't caught!
13. She: I have changed my mind.
Me: Does the new one work?
Tom, a new joiner in office..
First meeting with boss..
Boss: So are you expert in?
Tom: I can crack
Boss: What you ca crack?
Tom: I can crack hilarious Jokes!
14. What do you call Australian angry kangaroo?
Hopping Mad
15. Husband comes early from the office and found his wife with another man..
Wife: How you come early from the office?
Husband: Who is this man?
Wife: Don't try to change the topic!!!:)))
16. When she asked her Canadian friend: Did you have Good Summer?
Her Friend Replied: 'Yes Indeed! We had a great picnic that afternoon..'
17. What is the good day to go to beach-side?
SUN Day!
18. Women: Not all men annoy us..
Some are G A Y..
19. Never laugh on your wife's choices.. because you are one of them!
20. For girls, boys are like Bank Account..Without lot of Money, they do not generate lot of interest!
21. He: You are most beautiful girl I've ever seen on this planet!
She: You just want me to get into your bed!
He: OH great! You are smart too!
22. What do you get from Pampered cow?
Spoiled Milk!
23. Why did little champ placed sugar under his pillow:
Because he wanted sweet dreams!
24. Son: Dad, are you alright?
Dad: No, I am half left.
25. A boy misunderstood the meaning of LOL.. He thought it means lots of love instead of lots of laughter..
So he send greeting for his girl saying: You are only girl which make me feel like I am in heaven, you are really so sweet. LOL!
26. Your's birthday?
2nd April,
which year?
Every year,,,
27. What will call a men who lost hi left hand and left leg in critical fight?
All Right Man!
28. The embarrassment you experience when your colleague shares a joke in a group, you instantly laugh at it without understanding the punchline and someone asks you to explain it.
29. My Friend is a big play boy..
He had many girlfriends. Whenever he gets a new girl, he measures how far she can ope the legs..and he keeps the records in spreadsheet!
30. What if Doctor gets fired?
He doesn't care anymore!
31. Someone told me that if you wake up and hug a person, sleeping besides you and feel glad, want to hold hands.. This is real Love.
So I tried but I am being punished and banned to fly into that AIRLINE!
32. Once there was a boy and girl. They were very very innocent. They never did any wrong thing, never seen any movie or T.V. or songs.
They got married. When they came home, but sat with father and slowly asked dad "Please tell me what to do tonight." Father told him: Use your strong body muscle to hit the place from where she throws her waste water!
The other day: Father asked from his daughter in law, How was the time yesterday? Girl told: Very strange, your son went to bathroom, used his elbow to hit the bathroom seat!
33. When I tell my friend: You should not drive too fast.. He doesn't care!
When I want him: You should focus on your study to score good percentage.. He doesn't listen to me.
When I advice not to party til late night.. He becomes deaf.
But when I say that your phone' batter is LOW, he takes it too seriously.. :))
34. Was I guilty and cruel when I roam entire super market store, tested lot of products and after spending one hour, I go out empty handed!
35. Biggest lie married Women speak: I need to take permission from my husband!
Biggest lie married Men speak: No need to take any permission from my wife!blo
36. I asked to an experienced person: What is the secret of success.
He replied: A big stone..
I surprised!
He added: A big stone to break that mobile phone!
37. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: My lovely hubby, you are my whole world! :)
38. In between of attack Pandemic, Santa and Banta Surprised to listen about Hanta virus.
He asked : When our dad went to China??
39. A man goes to a bar and asks for a beer.
Waiter replies: Sure Sir, Its cost is one cent." "One Cent?"
the man exclaims. He glances at the menu and asks: How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?
A nickel, the barman replies.
"A nickel?" exclaims the man.
Where's the man who owns this place?
The bartender replies: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asks: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replies: The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.
40. Lady: All men are same and they need only one thing from women..
Man: All ladies are same and they need only one thing from Men..
Fit the right word: MONEY or Sleep.
41. Old proverb: Where is a will, there is a way..
New Proverb: Where there is a will, there is fight for property!
99. Men at 22: Plays Football
At 35: Pays Tennis
At 55: Play Golf
Have you noticed one thing?
What: As you get older, balls gets smaller!
1. Lady: Finally Doctor has done the operation successfully and my Ear replaced with New One..
Me: Great...... Happy New EAR!! :)
2. Why there no Knock Knock Jokes about America?
Because freedom Rings..
3. Dad to Son: What are you doing son?
Son: Dad, I am reading..
Dad: Good, what are you reading?
Son: Your daughter in law's messages...
4.
Company CEO to his office assistance: There is some urgent pending work in office so you have to come on Sunday.
Office assistance: Well boss, that is not a problem but the public transport is so bad on holiday so I will be very late..
CEO: Not an issue, by when you will reach there?
Office assistance: By Monday!
5. In South Africa, a place called Limpopo is so hot..
even chicken lay boil eggs...
6. Did you hear a joke about London?
It's a riot!
7. Boy: What is your age?
Girl: Stupid, girls don't reveal their age..
Boy: I see.. Sorry! What is your e-mail address?
Girl: ketty_1992@gmail.com
8. Man to young guy: Have you ever seen Taj Mahal or Easter Island's Moais,?
boy: No..
Man: Haha, go sometimes to see the world outside!!
Next day: Again, that man asks to same guy - Have you ever seen Pyramids of Giza?
Boy: No..
Man: Lol, go sometimes and see the world outside!
The another day - That man asks to boy - Have you ever seen.. the boy immediately interrupted him asking...
Do you know James?
Man: No
Boy: Lol, go sometimes, see what is happening in your home.. INSIDE..
9. What is the similarity between Bar and B R A ?
They both are capable to drive boys crazy when they OPEN!
10. Do Chinese realize when they buy Souvenir in America..
They are buying the products Made in China..LOL
11. Ugly boy: I don;t care what girls think of me..
because thousand of Mosquitoes find me attractive..
12. When you wife says: 'Correct me if I am wrong'
Just smile and agree, because it's a trap.. Don't caught!
13. She: I have changed my mind.
Me: Does the new one work?
Tom, a new joiner in office..
First meeting with boss..
Boss: So are you expert in?
Tom: I can crack
Boss: What you ca crack?
Tom: I can crack hilarious Jokes!
14. What do you call Australian angry kangaroo?
Hopping Mad
15. Husband comes early from the office and found his wife with another man..
Wife: How you come early from the office?
Husband: Who is this man?
Wife: Don't try to change the topic!!!:)))
16. When she asked her Canadian friend: Did you have Good Summer?
Her Friend Replied: 'Yes Indeed! We had a great picnic that afternoon..'
17. What is the good day to go to beach-side?
SUN Day!
18. Women: Not all men annoy us..
Some are G A Y..
19. Never laugh on your wife's choices.. because you are one of them!
20. For girls, boys are like Bank Account..Without lot of Money, they do not generate lot of interest!
21. He: You are most beautiful girl I've ever seen on this planet!
She: You just want me to get into your bed!
He: OH great! You are smart too!
22. What do you get from Pampered cow?
Spoiled Milk!
23. Why did little champ placed sugar under his pillow:
Because he wanted sweet dreams!
24. Son: Dad, are you alright?
Dad: No, I am half left.
25. A boy misunderstood the meaning of LOL.. He thought it means lots of love instead of lots of laughter..
So he send greeting for his girl saying: You are only girl which make me feel like I am in heaven, you are really so sweet. LOL!
26. Your's birthday?
2nd April,
which year?
Every year,,,
27. What will call a men who lost hi left hand and left leg in critical fight?
All Right Man!
28. The embarrassment you experience when your colleague shares a joke in a group, you instantly laugh at it without understanding the punchline and someone asks you to explain it.
29. My Friend is a big play boy..
He had many girlfriends. Whenever he gets a new girl, he measures how far she can ope the legs..and he keeps the records in spreadsheet!
30. What if Doctor gets fired?
He doesn't care anymore!
31. Someone told me that if you wake up and hug a person, sleeping besides you and feel glad, want to hold hands.. This is real Love.
So I tried but I am being punished and banned to fly into that AIRLINE!
32. Once there was a boy and girl. They were very very innocent. They never did any wrong thing, never seen any movie or T.V. or songs.
They got married. When they came home, but sat with father and slowly asked dad "Please tell me what to do tonight." Father told him: Use your strong body muscle to hit the place from where she throws her waste water!
The other day: Father asked from his daughter in law, How was the time yesterday? Girl told: Very strange, your son went to bathroom, used his elbow to hit the bathroom seat!
33. When I tell my friend: You should not drive too fast.. He doesn't care!
When I want him: You should focus on your study to score good percentage.. He doesn't listen to me.
When I advice not to party til late night.. He becomes deaf.
But when I say that your phone' batter is LOW, he takes it too seriously.. :))
34. Was I guilty and cruel when I roam entire super market store, tested lot of products and after spending one hour, I go out empty handed!
35. Biggest lie married Women speak: I need to take permission from my husband!
Biggest lie married Men speak: No need to take any permission from my wife!blo
36. I asked to an experienced person: What is the secret of success.
He replied: A big stone..
I surprised!
He added: A big stone to break that mobile phone!
37. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: My lovely hubby, you are my whole world! :)
38. In between of attack Pandemic, Santa and Banta Surprised to listen about Hanta virus.
He asked : When our dad went to China??
39. A man goes to a bar and asks for a beer.
Waiter replies: Sure Sir, Its cost is one cent." "One Cent?"
the man exclaims. He glances at the menu and asks: How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?
A nickel, the barman replies.
"A nickel?" exclaims the man.
Where's the man who owns this place?
The bartender replies: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asks: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replies: The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.
40. Lady: All men are same and they need only one thing from women..
Man: All ladies are same and they need only one thing from Men..
Fit the right word: MONEY or Sleep.
41. Old proverb: Where is a will, there is a way..
New Proverb: Where there is a will, there is fight for property!
99. Men at 22: Plays Football
At 35: Pays Tennis
At 55: Play Golf
Have you noticed one thing?
What: As you get older, balls gets smaller!
Isolation Jokes | Lock Down Jokes | Quarantine Jokes to Cheer you up in Corona Virus Session
Cheering you up with most funniest Isolation jokes when you are in lock-down or self isolated. Enjoy this Quarantine season with lots of laughter:
STRANGE!! The virus which is killed with Soap and Sanitizer, Scientists are unable to make the vaccine to kill it.
Girl: Come to my home
Boy: No, I am in self isolation
Girl: My parents are not home
Boy: But they should BE!!!!
By the way... let me remind you that today is SUNDAY | Holiday ..
Me: Doesn't make any difference.. haha
In this quarantine, wife says to his husband: Suppose if I understand you and I agree with everything you say then..
Husband: I can't control my laughter.. Even I cannot imagine this 'SUPPOSE'..
Wife says: Even after lock down I will not let you go to office..
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because you are doing house work better than our maid...
Chi - You made touch phones, touch Television, Touch machines, Touch Laptops BUT...
It is height - You invented disease with touch.. Intolerable..
We can also boast to our upcoming generation in our old age...
Once there was a disease....
Words which are disappeared from our lives during Quarantine:
Where are YOU?
When you will reach HOME?
Got too much of sitting in home then I seen a vegetable seller on the street, requested him to have tea at my home so I can take his vegetable to roam around!
You people cannot sit homes for few days..
Appreciate those engineers who are sitting homes for year..
In this quarantine, there is no use of keeping old chat..
If you read, your heart will break and if your wife reads, your bones will break..
Let you father come in the evening and I will complaint what you did..
Above dialogue of Moms are omitted!
I this lock-down, I became so frank and friendly with my wife that I told her all about my Girlfriend!!
Wife was exploring hubby's phone and found a contact name saved as COVID 19 and she
immediately called...and suddenly her mobile own mobile rang!!
Now husband is in Hospital!
Only your behavior makes you a MAN otherwise mustache can be noticed on girls face as well in lock-down.
Me: We are travelling..
Today we will visit our kitchen - The capital of our HOME..
Everyone is saying that country will go 20 years behind..
Anyhow, let me clear you that I am not going to go to school again!
First Time in History....
Phone call log - there is NO Wife's number....
The human being who gonna stay 21 days in Home - Gonna stay in counting of population of 2021...
Oh My God ! It's your Magic..
Birds and Animals are free but human beings are lock down.. :))((
Let me tell you that once this virus tension will end, I will take 7 days leave and REST!!
Do you know why all temples, church and holy places are closed?
Because Gods are in Hospitals wearing while coats... Salute..
In this lockdown, the earth is so green, neat and nice that I afraid if Dinosaur may come back!
Corona, Earth quake, Rain, ice balls - everything we experience..
Now Ulkapind is left, let him go through as well.
STRANGE!! The virus which is killed with Soap and Sanitizer, Scientists are unable to make the vaccine to kill it.
Girl: Come to my home
Boy: No, I am in self isolation
Girl: My parents are not home
Boy: But they should BE!!!!
By the way... let me remind you that today is SUNDAY | Holiday ..
Me: Doesn't make any difference.. haha
In this quarantine, wife says to his husband: Suppose if I understand you and I agree with everything you say then..
Husband: I can't control my laughter.. Even I cannot imagine this 'SUPPOSE'..
Wife says: Even after lock down I will not let you go to office..
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because you are doing house work better than our maid...
Chi - You made touch phones, touch Television, Touch machines, Touch Laptops BUT...
It is height - You invented disease with touch.. Intolerable..
We can also boast to our upcoming generation in our old age...
Once there was a disease....
Words which are disappeared from our lives during Quarantine:
Where are YOU?
When you will reach HOME?
Got too much of sitting in home then I seen a vegetable seller on the street, requested him to have tea at my home so I can take his vegetable to roam around!
You people cannot sit homes for few days..
Appreciate those engineers who are sitting homes for year..
In this quarantine, there is no use of keeping old chat..
If you read, your heart will break and if your wife reads, your bones will break..
Let you father come in the evening and I will complaint what you did..
Above dialogue of Moms are omitted!
I this lock-down, I became so frank and friendly with my wife that I told her all about my Girlfriend!!
Wife was exploring hubby's phone and found a contact name saved as COVID 19 and she
immediately called...and suddenly her mobile own mobile rang!!
Now husband is in Hospital!
Only your behavior makes you a MAN otherwise mustache can be noticed on girls face as well in lock-down.
Me: We are travelling..
Today we will visit our kitchen - The capital of our HOME..
Everyone is saying that country will go 20 years behind..
Anyhow, let me clear you that I am not going to go to school again!
First Time in History....
Phone call log - there is NO Wife's number....
The human being who gonna stay 21 days in Home - Gonna stay in counting of population of 2021...
Oh My God ! It's your Magic..
Birds and Animals are free but human beings are lock down.. :))((
Let me tell you that once this virus tension will end, I will take 7 days leave and REST!!
Do you know why all temples, church and holy places are closed?
Because Gods are in Hospitals wearing while coats... Salute..
In this lockdown, the earth is so green, neat and nice that I afraid if Dinosaur may come back!
Corona, Earth quake, Rain, ice balls - everything we experience..
Now Ulkapind is left, let him go through as well.
Real LAUGHTER with FUNNY JOKES - Most Hilarious, Million Time Liked
Laughter is HERE so without wasting time, Here you go with Funny New Jokes to laughing on:
Customer asks to lady cashier at Bank: Madam will you please tell me when interest is more while we put inside and when take it outside?
She replies: My dear, The interest depends on how much time you KEEP IT INSIDE
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she'e been googling my name on her laptop.
Me: How do you know?
Me: I saw it through my telescope...
Alcohol is never the answer But it does make you forget the question!
Read more Funny Jokes.
Girls wondering that if trees grew money, we would not mind dating monkeys..lol
Read all funny jokes here
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!
Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!
What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner
What is so special about Pretty Bunny’s jewelry?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold
Where can you always find a tiger’s head?
Four feet from its tail.
What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.
How do you make one disappear?
Add a ‘g’ or an ‘n’ to ‘one’!
Read all HERE
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
- Michael Prichard
Boys lie more, but girls lie better.
Please behave well with your wife - anytime restaurants can be closed in this pendamic season..LOL
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
"ARE YOU ASLEEP??" "No I was in comma , thanks for saving me."
If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name.
- Moshe Dayan
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
- Benjamin Franklin
Illustration: Really, it is not an easy task to handle a female for life time. Our smart experienced author Mr. Balzac warns men to attend some special training or program on marriages so that they could bear the pressure of coming tough life after getting engaged.
I think, therefore I'm single.
- Female philosopher
Be sober to your wife because they prepare your food...
Explore all quotes here.
Customer asks to lady cashier at Bank: Madam will you please tell me when interest is more while we put inside and when take it outside?
She replies: My dear, The interest depends on how much time you KEEP IT INSIDE
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she'e been googling my name on her laptop.
Me: How do you know?
Me: I saw it through my telescope...
Alcohol is never the answer But it does make you forget the question!
Read more Funny Jokes.
Girls wondering that if trees grew money, we would not mind dating monkeys..lol
Read all funny jokes here
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!
Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!
What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner
What is so special about Pretty Bunny’s jewelry?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold
Where can you always find a tiger’s head?
Four feet from its tail.
What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.
How do you make one disappear?
Add a ‘g’ or an ‘n’ to ‘one’!
Read all HERE
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
- Michael Prichard
Boys lie more, but girls lie better.
Please behave well with your wife - anytime restaurants can be closed in this pendamic season..LOL
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
"ARE YOU ASLEEP??" "No I was in comma , thanks for saving me."
If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name.
- Moshe Dayan
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
- Benjamin Franklin
Illustration: Really, it is not an easy task to handle a female for life time. Our smart experienced author Mr. Balzac warns men to attend some special training or program on marriages so that they could bear the pressure of coming tough life after getting engaged.
I think, therefore I'm single.
- Female philosopher
Be sober to your wife because they prepare your food...
Explore all quotes here.
2020-2019 Funny Jokes for Guaranteed Instant Laughter
Jokes are like Oxygen, water and food because they are necessary to live happy healthy smiling life. They being LAUGHTER and but obvious, when you laugh, you are actually doing a favor to your goodself. You get lots of benefits and your mood gets refreshed.
Here we are bringing most funny jokes ever to guaranty your laughter. You can share these jokes with anybody, anytime and these are good to start a nice discussion. One more thing that we should not take life so seriously because no one could escape live at the end
Here you go:
Late night chat..
Girl: Ok, bye, mom is shouting..
Boy: Say your dad that do it slowly..
BLOCKED......................
Girl: How I was looking today..
Boy: You don't need a makeup..
Girl: then?
Boy: Plastic surgery..
OVER.......
Do you drink regularly or occasionally?
Me: Occasionally ut occasions come regularly..
I text my friends and said that I lost my phone, please call me..
15 people called me...
OMG.. I need smarter and clever friends...
When there is earthquake...
Do Not Panic..
1st .. Update status on Fb/Whatsapp..
2nd: after 1st step, if you get time,, come outside of home..
3rd: take a selfie with crowd and upload on social media and say... enjoying earthquake..
Never make your girlfriend CRY.
Because - Million flirty guys are waiting for wipe her tears..
Boy: I love you
Girl: I already have a boyfriend
Boy: Sell him on OLX because old has to go only then new will come..
Boy on fuel station: Please fill for USD 0.1
Salesman: wow, with that much of oil where will you go?
Boy: nowhere - we just waste our money like this..hahaha
What kinds of short do cloud wear?
Thunder-wear...
Here we are bringing most funny jokes ever to guaranty your laughter. You can share these jokes with anybody, anytime and these are good to start a nice discussion. One more thing that we should not take life so seriously because no one could escape live at the end
Here you go:
Late night chat..
Girl: Ok, bye, mom is shouting..
Boy: Say your dad that do it slowly..
BLOCKED......................
Girl: How I was looking today..
Boy: You don't need a makeup..
Girl: then?
Boy: Plastic surgery..
OVER.......
Do you drink regularly or occasionally?
Me: Occasionally ut occasions come regularly..
I text my friends and said that I lost my phone, please call me..
15 people called me...
OMG.. I need smarter and clever friends...
When there is earthquake...
Do Not Panic..
1st .. Update status on Fb/Whatsapp..
2nd: after 1st step, if you get time,, come outside of home..
3rd: take a selfie with crowd and upload on social media and say... enjoying earthquake..
Never make your girlfriend CRY.
Because - Million flirty guys are waiting for wipe her tears..
Boy: I love you
Girl: I already have a boyfriend
Boy: Sell him on OLX because old has to go only then new will come..
Boy on fuel station: Please fill for USD 0.1
Salesman: wow, with that much of oil where will you go?
Boy: nowhere - we just waste our money like this..hahaha
What kinds of short do cloud wear?
Thunder-wear...
Very Funny Jokes for stress-free laughter
Festive season is ON and we have got the reason to make to laugh with our new collection of very funny jokes so read, share, enjoy. Laugh to live your present life.. Cheers!
More than million copies sold just in 2 day due to one word typo error...
"An Idea Can Change Your Wife..."
I wonder why Santa is always a Male
Simple.. because woman never wears the same dress every year!!yoohooo
My promised goal for new year 2018 is to complete the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016 because I promised them in 2015 and they were originally planned in 2014,,
Good luck to me,,,
Boy to girl: I love a girl but afraid to tell her..
Girl: Come one. it is easy. Try on me.
Boy: I Love You darling..
Girl: Yes, now go and tell her.
Boy: I already did..
History is proof is that whenever new year came - it could not stay live more than 1 YEAR..
I've got an idea that I gonna order pizza just 5 minute before new year and when they will deliver, I will claim free pizza as I ordered last year..!!
Hey Bro.. where we gonna sit on 31st..?
What do you call a old snowman?
Water??
I will bring bride like a moon..
AND she will show you stars in daytime..
Oh Shit...
I don't have new year eve plan.. YET
My New Year Resolution:
I need to be more awesome than last year!
Math! The only place where you buy 88 watermelon and no one wonders 'WHY'...
Best Joke Ever "A boy said - Trust Me"
More than million copies sold just in 2 day due to one word typo error...
"An Idea Can Change Your Wife..."
I wonder why Santa is always a Male
Simple.. because woman never wears the same dress every year!!yoohooo
My promised goal for new year 2018 is to complete the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016 because I promised them in 2015 and they were originally planned in 2014,,
Good luck to me,,,
Boy to girl: I love a girl but afraid to tell her..
Girl: Come one. it is easy. Try on me.
Boy: I Love You darling..
Girl: Yes, now go and tell her.
Boy: I already did..
History is proof is that whenever new year came - it could not stay live more than 1 YEAR..
I've got an idea that I gonna order pizza just 5 minute before new year and when they will deliver, I will claim free pizza as I ordered last year..!!
Hey Bro.. where we gonna sit on 31st..?
What do you call a old snowman?
Water??
I will bring bride like a moon..
AND she will show you stars in daytime..
Oh Shit...
I don't have new year eve plan.. YET
My New Year Resolution:
I need to be more awesome than last year!
Math! The only place where you buy 88 watermelon and no one wonders 'WHY'...
Best Joke Ever "A boy said - Trust Me"
Jokes to make moments rememberable
Although web is full of humor contents but here we create difference by sharing the jokes which are so funny, fresh, new and easy to recall. So without wasting much time, let quickly jump to world of unlimited fun.
Here you go:
Life is too short to be serious all the time..SO if you can not laugh at yourself.Please call me.. I will do it for you....
A man can achieve success if he tries HARD..
BUT
A woman can achieve she cries HARD... :):):)))
Boy: Do you love me?
Girl: Yup..
Boy: But you do not care for me..
Girl: The people, who are in love, do not care for anyone!!!
An funny man wen to Barbour shop..
He sat on the chair.. Barbour surprisingly look at his head and asked: You have only 8 hair on your head.. Should I count or cut??
Man: Just color them BRO!!!
Life is to enjoy with whatever you have... :))
Hey... if you are born in September... It is pretty sure that your parents started thier new year with a BANG!!!
IF light goes in--
USA - People call in power office..
Japan: People check their fuse plugs.
INDIA - People first check that neighbor's light is also gone!!! :):)
Teacher: You are so careless.. Do you take anything seriously
Me: Yes, My smart phone low battery warning!!!
Do not give anybody justification - You are not a detergent... !!! :
Here you go:
Life is too short to be serious all the time..SO if you can not laugh at yourself.Please call me.. I will do it for you....
A man can achieve success if he tries HARD..
BUT
A woman can achieve she cries HARD... :):):)))
Boy: Do you love me?
Girl: Yup..
Boy: But you do not care for me..
Girl: The people, who are in love, do not care for anyone!!!
An funny man wen to Barbour shop..
He sat on the chair.. Barbour surprisingly look at his head and asked: You have only 8 hair on your head.. Should I count or cut??
Man: Just color them BRO!!!
Life is to enjoy with whatever you have... :))
Hey... if you are born in September... It is pretty sure that your parents started thier new year with a BANG!!!
IF light goes in--
USA - People call in power office..
Japan: People check their fuse plugs.
INDIA - People first check that neighbor's light is also gone!!! :):)
Teacher: You are so careless.. Do you take anything seriously
Me: Yes, My smart phone low battery warning!!!
Do not give anybody justification - You are not a detergent... !!! :
Very Funny, Quick Jokes for to make people laugh
World is endless so chances of laughter and fun too. Here we present again very short and quick jokes to make people laugh. It gonna meet their laughter needs. With these pranks, people will go crazy with uncontrollable laughter.
Here You Go:--->
Very Important, crispy, funny but useful general knowledge General:
In 26 letters of alphabets, W is the most dangerous and full of tension letter... How? See:
What, where, who, whom, why, Work, Wine, Whisky,.....
Not enough.... Women...
Want to hear more...
Wife....
And in today's life biggest hacker is..... Whatsapp....
2 guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
Jack Benny is walking down the street, when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and says "Your money or your life!" An extremely long silence follows.
"Your money or your life!" the thug repeats. Finally Benny says "I’m thinking!"
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Wife to Husband: lets go for long drive, but I will the car..
Husband: Ok, that means we will go on car and come in next day's newspaper.. haha
Read further more at this full fledged Jokes page.
Very Important, crispy, funny but useful general knowledge General:
In 26 letters of alphabets, W is the most dangerous and full of tension letter... How? See:
What, where, who, whom, why, Work, Wine, Whisky,.....
Not enough.... Women...
Want to hear more...
Wife....
And in today's life biggest hacker is..... Whatsapp....
2 guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
Jack Benny is walking down the street, when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and says "Your money or your life!" An extremely long silence follows.
"Your money or your life!" the thug repeats. Finally Benny says "I’m thinking!"
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Wife to Husband: lets go for long drive, but I will the car..
Husband: Ok, that means we will go on car and come in next day's newspaper.. haha
Read further more at this full fledged Jokes page.
Jokes - When they give you lecturer
We can not leave our readers without laughing so here we bring jokes in a form of funny replies when somebody tries to give you lecturer but please dont't forget to say "Just Joking". Your sense of humor make anyone's laugh so these quips do. Enjoy, laugh, share and comment you crazy people to make other trolling with LOL..
1.) Money is not Everything.. There is also Amex, visa and master cards..
2.) One should Love animals They are too tasty....
3.) Save water...Instead drink on the Rocks...
4.) Fruit, Salad and green vegetables are healthy..Leave them for the sick..
5.) Books are Holy..Don't touch them..
6.) Don't shout in office..It disturbs those who are sleeping...
7.) Love thy neighbors.. But don't get caught
8.) Hard work never killed anyone..But why take Chances..?
9) Why do something today when...it can be done tomorrow by someone else
10.) Everyone should Marry.. after all... Happiness is not only thing in Life..
Do Comment, Share if you had a smile.. and if you have something funny to say, please tell.. We would love to hear your comments..
Happy Laughing..
1.) Money is not Everything.. There is also Amex, visa and master cards..
2.) One should Love animals They are too tasty....
3.) Save water...Instead drink on the Rocks...
4.) Fruit, Salad and green vegetables are healthy..Leave them for the sick..
5.) Books are Holy..Don't touch them..
6.) Don't shout in office..It disturbs those who are sleeping...
7.) Love thy neighbors.. But don't get caught
8.) Hard work never killed anyone..But why take Chances..?
9) Why do something today when...it can be done tomorrow by someone else
10.) Everyone should Marry.. after all... Happiness is not only thing in Life..
Do Comment, Share if you had a smile.. and if you have something funny to say, please tell.. We would love to hear your comments..
Happy Laughing..
The relation between watch and Wife Joke
Here is a funny joke where we have compared wife with watch and found many hilarious facts so just enjoy..
There is a great relation between a watch & a wife... Wanna know how:
Here you go:
1. A watch does 24 hours: tik tik tik... And a wife does 24 hours kit kit kit..
2. Watch's sticks come to same point after having round so wife does. She comes to same point after you make her understand and force you to go with her understanding.
3. If watch goes faulty, it goes to mechanic shop but watch goes wrong, it goes to mom's home..
4. You need cells to charge watch and you need to salary to charge the wife.
5. When its 12 in the watch, all sticks are one but when it 12 hour with wife, she looks like 3..
6. There is fix time when watch gives alarm but there is no fix time of wife's alarm.
7. When watch has a problem, it stops but when wife has a problem, she starts..
8. The bid difference is whenever you want you can change the watch but you can't change the wife.
There is a great relation between a watch & a wife... Wanna know how:
Here you go:
1. A watch does 24 hours: tik tik tik... And a wife does 24 hours kit kit kit..
2. Watch's sticks come to same point after having round so wife does. She comes to same point after you make her understand and force you to go with her understanding.
3. If watch goes faulty, it goes to mechanic shop but watch goes wrong, it goes to mom's home..
4. You need cells to charge watch and you need to salary to charge the wife.
5. When its 12 in the watch, all sticks are one but when it 12 hour with wife, she looks like 3..
6. There is fix time when watch gives alarm but there is no fix time of wife's alarm.
7. When watch has a problem, it stops but when wife has a problem, she starts..
8. The bid difference is whenever you want you can change the watch but you can't change the wife.
Being funny with latest collection of New Jokes
Less than 5% people in this world hate humor so among the population of trillion billion people, 95% like and love to have humor and laughter in life and they want to be funny as well. And this is good because it gives us new energy, refresh ourselves and makes our health much better.
So here we are with our newest collection of latest funny jokes to explore a fun loving person inside you. Yes, you can make people and yourself laugh by sharing these wonderful pranks..
Below pranks are for each of our valuable reader to read, share and enjoy. Do remember that life is to live once so live it at fullest.
After marriage father in law calls son in law: hello dear.. how are you? hope, your life is going cool..
Son in law: forget about myself, I am 200% sure that your life is now easy and trouble-free...
Oil saying: Whenever you awake, that is morning..
New saying: Whenever you awake, you are online..
Wife to her friend: I tried to be good wife for few days.. I did everything to be cool with my hubby..
But after one week I fought with hubby..
God promise.. now I am feeling much better and relaxed..... and now I came to know that real satisfaction comes only when I do fight with him...
Man: I always feel so tired.. I always get sleep and even after sleeping many hours, I again feel to have more sleep.
Dr.: Ok, which phone do you use?
Man: Very basic phone..
Dr. Ah.... Please buy a smart phone.. May be Android or Apple.. Install social media apps and than you will be busy always.. You will not get sleep so easy because there is always something bothering you... Cheers..
Wife returns from market...
Husband says: My guess, you must be bringing something to eat in this box..
Wife: Oh my dear.. You are absolutely right.. I have my sleepers for you to...
Do remember that Love is blind but ALSO remember that your parents and neighbors are NOT...
Dear Friend: which phone gives the best battery back up?
Me: you can better take advise from that person who awakes whole night while talking to her girlfriend. He is the right person.
3 things never stay for long:
1- Body building with POWDER and supplements
2- Money from selling land
3- Setting girl from social media. LOL
Wife: You are abusing me while sleeping...
Husband: No, you must be having some misunderstanding..
Wife: No, what misunderstanding?
Husband: I was awake.. :))))
Jack: What is marriage?
John: Marriage is such a forest where brave lions are hunted by beautiful deers..
Below pranks are for each of our valuable reader to read, share and enjoy. Do remember that life is to live once so live it at fullest.
After marriage father in law calls son in law: hello dear.. how are you? hope, your life is going cool..
Son in law: forget about myself, I am 200% sure that your life is now easy and trouble-free...
Oil saying: Whenever you awake, that is morning..
New saying: Whenever you awake, you are online..
Wife to her friend: I tried to be good wife for few days.. I did everything to be cool with my hubby..
But after one week I fought with hubby..
God promise.. now I am feeling much better and relaxed..... and now I came to know that real satisfaction comes only when I do fight with him...
Man: I always feel so tired.. I always get sleep and even after sleeping many hours, I again feel to have more sleep.
Dr.: Ok, which phone do you use?
Man: Very basic phone..
Dr. Ah.... Please buy a smart phone.. May be Android or Apple.. Install social media apps and than you will be busy always.. You will not get sleep so easy because there is always something bothering you... Cheers..
Wife returns from market...
Husband says: My guess, you must be bringing something to eat in this box..
Wife: Oh my dear.. You are absolutely right.. I have my sleepers for you to...
Do remember that Love is blind but ALSO remember that your parents and neighbors are NOT...
Dear Friend: which phone gives the best battery back up?
Me: you can better take advise from that person who awakes whole night while talking to her girlfriend. He is the right person.
3 things never stay for long:
1- Body building with POWDER and supplements
2- Money from selling land
3- Setting girl from social media. LOL
Wife: You are abusing me while sleeping...
Husband: No, you must be having some misunderstanding..
Wife: No, what misunderstanding?
Husband: I was awake.. :))))
Jack: What is marriage?
John: Marriage is such a forest where brave lions are hunted by beautiful deers..
The Best Jokes - You Must Share Once in Life to make it Funny
Jokes are life’s supporting contents to make life worth living. These pranks enlighten the life and give the fuel to move in life positively.
When we share J , we intend write fresh, new and most funny ones so here you gonna read the most
hilarious ever on the web:
The benefit you get while while these jokes are:
A.) You feel immediate refreshment
B.) People appreciate your effort of making them smile.
C.) When you laugh, your inner health improves,
D.) Your absence is felt in any gathering
E.) You spread positive in the atmosphere
F.) You make best use of time.
G.) Your friend circle increases.
H.) People love to be in your company.
It is been said again and again that life is short, make it easy and cool but in reality:
When you actually enter in the practical life, worries, tensions and problems automatically comes
Your comfort zone, ease of life gets disturbed.
Time flies and you get fail to maintain work life balance.
Here, We don't say that you should take it easy but we advice that solve your problem wisely, use mind
and do not get so much persona. Spare sometime for yourself and entertain yourself. Be strong. stay positive so that people wonder, how you're still smiling.
And finally after above lecture, I would like to share those most Funny Jokes which are very quick and you must share atleast once in lifetime to be remembered forever for your good sense of humor:
I did fall--
She laughed...
I replied: I didn't fall - floor just needed a HUG.
Mom: Did you read any book in last two months?
Me: Mom, I did go through Facebook, does it count?
Sometimes.....
behind every smile....
There.....
is...
a..................
Joke :)
Which you never understand... LOL
Teacher to another teacher - he failed the exam..
me to my friend: she failed to teach me..
Husband: Today, onward, I will spend no time on social media and spend all time with wife and kids..
Wife: And you will share you so bad jokes? NO WAY.. please...
hilarious ever on the web:
The benefit you get while while these jokes are:
A.) You feel immediate refreshment
B.) People appreciate your effort of making them smile.
C.) When you laugh, your inner health improves,
D.) Your absence is felt in any gathering
E.) You spread positive in the atmosphere
F.) You make best use of time.
G.) Your friend circle increases.
H.) People love to be in your company.
It is been said again and again that life is short, make it easy and cool but in reality:
When you actually enter in the practical life, worries, tensions and problems automatically comes
Your comfort zone, ease of life gets disturbed.
Time flies and you get fail to maintain work life balance.
Here, We don't say that you should take it easy but we advice that solve your problem wisely, use mind
and do not get so much persona. Spare sometime for yourself and entertain yourself. Be strong. stay positive so that people wonder, how you're still smiling.
And finally after above lecture, I would like to share those most Funny Jokes which are very quick and you must share atleast once in lifetime to be remembered forever for your good sense of humor:
I did fall--
She laughed...
I replied: I didn't fall - floor just needed a HUG.
Mom: Did you read any book in last two months?
Me: Mom, I did go through Facebook, does it count?
Sometimes.....
behind every smile....
There.....
is...
a..................
Joke :)
Which you never understand... LOL
Teacher to another teacher - he failed the exam..
me to my friend: she failed to teach me..
Husband: Today, onward, I will spend no time on social media and spend all time with wife and kids..
Wife: And you will share you so bad jokes? NO WAY.. please...
Best 20 Funny Jokes to actually make your day full of laughter
Day without laughter is day wasted but we won't let you do this that is why we are bringing here the best 20 very funny jokes to make your day full of laughter. Be sure that you will move from here with a good experience. Cheers
When mind stops working?
Men's mind work perfectly all the times...but it stops working only 2 critical times..
Me: When?
Man: 5 minute before exam and while choosing a girl..
Will you DANCE?
In a marriage function, boy said to a girl: will you dance?
Girl: Ahh, Ok, yes
Boy, then please stand up, I need a chair..
Girl's status
I do lots of worship and good work..
But I am afraid if I become a goddess so that I why I go illegal sometimes...
Why did you make me married?
Son: Dad, why you have forced me for marriage?
Dad: You don't know?
Son: No, please tell..
Dad: 25 years I have cleaned dishes alone but Now with you...
On you head
Man while wedding to priest: Sir, on while side I should ask my bride to sit, left or right?
Priest: Anywhere son, because ultimately she will sit on your head all the life..
Why you are here?
Girl sees her ex lover on her marriage, rushes towards him and asks: Why are you here, I am getting married tomorrow..
Boy: Catering and other arrangement are being ordered to me.. What do you want, should I stop eating/working??
Daughter to dad
Dad, one boy has made my life miserable. He makes me uncomfortable everywhere
Dad: So how do you want to punish him?
Daughter: By getting married with him...
Today's kids
Teacher: Why you did not come to school yesterday
Kid: The kids who came yesterday gonna get great JOB?
Face difficulties with smile
Wife came back from her father's home
Husband opens door and starts laughing so loud..
Wife: Why are you laughing like thins?
Husband: I have been taught that whenever difficulty comes, welcome with smile..
When mind stops working?
Men's mind work perfectly all the times...but it stops working only 2 critical times..
Me: When?
Man: 5 minute before exam and while choosing a girl..
Will you DANCE?
In a marriage function, boy said to a girl: will you dance?
Girl: Ahh, Ok, yes
Boy, then please stand up, I need a chair..
Girl's status
I do lots of worship and good work..
But I am afraid if I become a goddess so that I why I go illegal sometimes...
Why did you make me married?
Son: Dad, why you have forced me for marriage?
Dad: You don't know?
Son: No, please tell..
Dad: 25 years I have cleaned dishes alone but Now with you...
On you head
Man while wedding to priest: Sir, on while side I should ask my bride to sit, left or right?
Priest: Anywhere son, because ultimately she will sit on your head all the life..
Why you are here?
Girl sees her ex lover on her marriage, rushes towards him and asks: Why are you here, I am getting married tomorrow..
Boy: Catering and other arrangement are being ordered to me.. What do you want, should I stop eating/working??
Daughter to dad
Dad, one boy has made my life miserable. He makes me uncomfortable everywhere
Dad: So how do you want to punish him?
Daughter: By getting married with him...
Today's kids
Teacher: Why you did not come to school yesterday
Kid: The kids who came yesterday gonna get great JOB?
Face difficulties with smile
Wife came back from her father's home
Husband opens door and starts laughing so loud..
Wife: Why are you laughing like thins?
Husband: I have been taught that whenever difficulty comes, welcome with smile..
Jokes - to Make anyone's day brighter
Jokes work like a booster because they enable the teller and listener to laugh a lot and laughing makes your mood so good. It spread positive energy into your mind and body. As we know life is full of tensions and struggles. Everyone is running for something. Rich want to get more richer and poor are struggling to arrange for their basic needs. Middle class people are under immense pressure of maintaining the status.
So in these difficult world, we have taken responsibility to make you laugh with our new, funny and humorous jokes, so read, share, energize people and have fun
Teacher: What is the difference between Song and lecture?
Student: When other women say something, it feels like a sweet song. Her voice attacks on our heart. So nice.. AND when our own wife says something - Ahh.. It is a lecturer..
NEXT DAY - Teacher gave the student a good treat for having such a deep knowledge --:) :) :)
Man: My wife is missing..
Postman: This is post office NOT police station..
Man: I am really sorry - out of happiness - I am confused and do not understand where to go..
Wife always call men a fool..
and then say.. we are ahead of men.. LoL
So in these difficult world, we have taken responsibility to make you laugh with our new, funny and humorous jokes, so read, share, energize people and have fun
Teacher: What is the difference between Song and lecture?
Student: When other women say something, it feels like a sweet song. Her voice attacks on our heart. So nice.. AND when our own wife says something - Ahh.. It is a lecturer..
NEXT DAY - Teacher gave the student a good treat for having such a deep knowledge --:) :) :)
Man: My wife is missing..
Postman: This is post office NOT police station..
Man: I am really sorry - out of happiness - I am confused and do not understand where to go..
Wife always call men a fool..
and then say.. we are ahead of men.. LoL
LOL - American Jokes to Laugh like Crazies
America is the land of wonderful people. Here, you'll all kind of people i.e. witty, funny, smart, intelligent, brilliant and so on. As our topic is related to humor, so he we gonna share top American jokes which makes you laugh like anything.
Here you go..
Do you know the difference between the US and yogurt? . . . . . . . . . . .
Well, yes - If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
Man to priest: So I will get the same wife in next birth also?
Priest: Yes please.
Man: Then there is no benefit of suicide as well :(
Boy: I fall in love in love with a nice Girl..!!
Girl: Good!! Who is she?
Boy: She is your shadow.. and looks a bit like you....
Girl: Awwww!! Is it me?
Boy: No, Your sister..
Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy:I close my eyes and sleep.
Seems like you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Yes you are right.. but I married the wrong woman.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? .
Well , a knife has a point.
What do you call a french man killed defending his country?
I don't know either, its never happened!
Spouse:what will you give me if i arrived the top of mountain?
Hubby: A little push
Here you go..
Do you know the difference between the US and yogurt? . . . . . . . . . . .
Well, yes - If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
Man to priest: So I will get the same wife in next birth also?
Priest: Yes please.
Man: Then there is no benefit of suicide as well :(
Boy: I fall in love in love with a nice Girl..!!
Girl: Good!! Who is she?
Boy: She is your shadow.. and looks a bit like you....
Girl: Awwww!! Is it me?
Boy: No, Your sister..
Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy:I close my eyes and sleep.
Seems like you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Yes you are right.. but I married the wrong woman.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? .
Well , a knife has a point.
What do you call a french man killed defending his country?
I don't know either, its never happened!
Spouse:what will you give me if i arrived the top of mountain?
Hubby: A little push
101-200 Top Best Short Jokes - Part 2
After mind blowing success of Part 1, we are very excited to publish the 2nd Part with Title 101-200 Top 100 Best Jokes. In this continuation, we gonna write something in more creative and more funny way to experience you the real taste of humor. We know that there is no need to teach you guys about the positive effects of laughter to your health, so without giving much lecture, lets dive into the sea of amazing Jokes.
Here you go:
The moment when you see your teacher in Public..
After 5 years of marriage, on valentines day, husband brings white Rose...
Wife: What is this? On this day, husband gives Red Rose...
Husband: But now Peace is more important than Love...
Two mouse were roaming around on bikes.
On the way, one lion asked for lift...
Mouse said: Think twice before taking lift from us, because we don't want to listen from your mom that you go around with villains..
Do you really want to give somebody heart-attack?
Take his phone---> go into the contacts---->select all--->delete..
Give him --> with that crazy smile.
Man was about to hand on till death.
Judge asked him about his last wish.
Man: Smiled and said, replace me.:)
The real friend is one...
Who takes care of you well while you vomit after drink..
And ask after some time : If you are feeling fresh - Should I make another pag?
Wife: How am I looking?
Husband: So cute..
Wife: Any comment?
Husband: You are looking so beautiful but it takes all my salary...
Once kidnapper kidnapped wife:
Next day I got a call: If you don't' give me the amount, I will kill you wife.
But I was silent..
Next day one more call: If you don't give me money I will throw your wife from mountain.
But I was silent
Next day I got a call: If you don't give me amount, I will send you wife back..
I shouted , please tell me how much...
Boy passed a comment on girl: I wish I could have the lipstick of your soft lips..
Girl turned back and replied: Then you must be daily on somebody below pant area.. LOL
Man: Dear your father is a doctor, still you are ill..
Me: Stupid, your father is salesman of condom, still you are in this world..
STAY TUNED FOR MORE.......
Here you go:
The moment when you see your teacher in Public..
After 5 years of marriage, on valentines day, husband brings white Rose...
Wife: What is this? On this day, husband gives Red Rose...
Husband: But now Peace is more important than Love...
Two mouse were roaming around on bikes.
On the way, one lion asked for lift...
Mouse said: Think twice before taking lift from us, because we don't want to listen from your mom that you go around with villains..
Do you really want to give somebody heart-attack?
Take his phone---> go into the contacts---->select all--->delete..
Give him --> with that crazy smile.
Man was about to hand on till death.
Judge asked him about his last wish.
Man: Smiled and said, replace me.:)
The real friend is one...
Who takes care of you well while you vomit after drink..
And ask after some time : If you are feeling fresh - Should I make another pag?
Wife: How am I looking?
Husband: So cute..
Wife: Any comment?
Husband: You are looking so beautiful but it takes all my salary...
Once kidnapper kidnapped wife:
Next day I got a call: If you don't' give me the amount, I will kill you wife.
But I was silent..
Next day one more call: If you don't give me money I will throw your wife from mountain.
But I was silent
Next day I got a call: If you don't give me amount, I will send you wife back..
I shouted , please tell me how much...
Boy passed a comment on girl: I wish I could have the lipstick of your soft lips..
Girl turned back and replied: Then you must be daily on somebody below pant area.. LOL
Man: Dear your father is a doctor, still you are ill..
Me: Stupid, your father is salesman of condom, still you are in this world..
STAY TUNED FOR MORE.......
Jokes - How to Make Somebody Laugh/Happy
Do you do your best to make your friends, relatives, people or anybody laugh but without success? If yes, you must learn/use the right tactics to let make it happen. To make your intention into reality, you must learn the mandatory steps.
So here we are sharing those important steps to let you learn this:
Step 1: Mood
If you are in good mood doesn't mean that the other person is also in the same mood. You should learn or sense their mood to successfully make them laugh. Don't forget the rule of "Right thing at right time". So if you say joke when they are in normal mood, you will be thorough.
Step 2: Conversation:
To make the other person happy, you must start conversation slowly and make open ended questions so that they can also involve. And the moment, they go familiar, you play your jokes to make them laughing.
Step 3: Interest:
If I love swimming and you talk about how dangerous the water it. I may contradict. So to make anybody smiling, you must know their interest and talk accordingly. The right flow and the right way of talk will help you win their interest which will lead to loads of laugh.
Step 4: Material:
Do you have enough material in your talks/mind to drag anybody's attention. This comes with homework to fill lots of talking material. When you have much topis and gossips in your mind, you will not let the silent overtake you. Bear this in your mind.
Step 5: Timing
The above mention quality is very much needed to have fun and let other involve. When you say right thing taking care of timing, I bet they can not stop their laughter at all. This is what comedians are known for. So whether it is you, stand up comedians or actors - timing is much important.
That is it and you are done. Rest is withing yourself. I appreciate you intention because making anybody cry is very easy but the tough task is to make somebody smiling. Your good task will leave you mark in everybody's heart and they will never ever forget you. When they smile because of you, you get a special feeling and satisfaction. Your sense of humor will be appreciated and your polite way and good communication skill gonna work well.
Stay tuned for more enjoyable coming on way. Wish you a very good life and great journey.
So here we are sharing those important steps to let you learn this:
Step 1: Mood
If you are in good mood doesn't mean that the other person is also in the same mood. You should learn or sense their mood to successfully make them laugh. Don't forget the rule of "Right thing at right time". So if you say joke when they are in normal mood, you will be thorough.
Step 2: Conversation:
To make the other person happy, you must start conversation slowly and make open ended questions so that they can also involve. And the moment, they go familiar, you play your jokes to make them laughing.
Step 3: Interest:
If I love swimming and you talk about how dangerous the water it. I may contradict. So to make anybody smiling, you must know their interest and talk accordingly. The right flow and the right way of talk will help you win their interest which will lead to loads of laugh.
Step 4: Material:
Do you have enough material in your talks/mind to drag anybody's attention. This comes with homework to fill lots of talking material. When you have much topis and gossips in your mind, you will not let the silent overtake you. Bear this in your mind.
Step 5: Timing
The above mention quality is very much needed to have fun and let other involve. When you say right thing taking care of timing, I bet they can not stop their laughter at all. This is what comedians are known for. So whether it is you, stand up comedians or actors - timing is much important.
That is it and you are done. Rest is withing yourself. I appreciate you intention because making anybody cry is very easy but the tough task is to make somebody smiling. Your good task will leave you mark in everybody's heart and they will never ever forget you. When they smile because of you, you get a special feeling and satisfaction. Your sense of humor will be appreciated and your polite way and good communication skill gonna work well.
Stay tuned for more enjoyable coming on way. Wish you a very good life and great journey.
Best Jokes Forever
Welcome in new year 2016 and we must welcome it with loads of smile which can be sourced from our best jokes here. This whole year and all 12 months, we wish and hope that you keep on laughing and enjoying. May your life be filled with lots of enjoyable moments. Our jokes section is little efforts of doing so! Enjoy..
Girl to his lover: Today my brother saw me with you on your bike!
Boy: OMG, Now what?
Girl: They took my travel money back! You know my family is very strict.
What happens when an egg laughs?
It cracks up!
Girls only calls me ugly until they find out how much money I make....
Then they call me ugly and poor...
What is green, fuzzy and if it is fell out of tree, it can break your head!
Pool table..
The thief broke into my house last night.. They started searching for money so I wake I joined them in search!
If olive oil is made of olives then baby oil is made of ....
Thant crazy moment when you can't finish a line because you are laughing so hard about ending!
Every family has a weird relative.. if you don't know who it is..probable=y it is you..
Stop.. you are under a rest!
Every time I plan to eat something better, I hear my stomach laughing.
Men to the left because women are always right!
My boss told me: Have a good day!
So I I went home!
Me? Mature... Haha . I still laugh when the ketchup bottle farts!
If they don't want sarcastic answer then don't ask for stupid questions.
Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is always going to suck.
I think I want a job of cleaning mirror..because it is something I see myself doing!
She said -
Books or Me?"
I still remember her sometimes when I buy a book!
Girl to his lover: Today my brother saw me with you on your bike!
Boy: OMG, Now what?
Girl: They took my travel money back! You know my family is very strict.
What happens when an egg laughs?
It cracks up!
Girls only calls me ugly until they find out how much money I make....
Then they call me ugly and poor...
What is green, fuzzy and if it is fell out of tree, it can break your head!
Pool table..
The thief broke into my house last night.. They started searching for money so I wake I joined them in search!
If olive oil is made of olives then baby oil is made of ....
Thant crazy moment when you can't finish a line because you are laughing so hard about ending!
Every family has a weird relative.. if you don't know who it is..probable=y it is you..
Stop.. you are under a rest!
Every time I plan to eat something better, I hear my stomach laughing.
Men to the left because women are always right!
My boss told me: Have a good day!
So I I went home!
Me? Mature... Haha . I still laugh when the ketchup bottle farts!
If they don't want sarcastic answer then don't ask for stupid questions.
Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is always going to suck.
I think I want a job of cleaning mirror..because it is something I see myself doing!
She said -
Books or Me?"
I still remember her sometimes when I buy a book!
Presenting the World's Best Jokes for much better life
Life is much easier when you really do something you are capable of, with a smile on your face. People will be impressed to see your performance and will mistaken you are doing very hard work in your work but you know that you are enjoying while having fun because you are doing what you love to do. Hours pass like minutes and still you have that wish do more. This is called right choice baby.
Quick Jokes and funny stuff do the right thing for you baby so here we are going to help you by having the opportunity to let you read our newest collection of latest jokes.
But first let us aware you the endless benefits of having humor. Here are the major points here due to short of time:
1.) No space for boredom
2.) Liked by everyone
3.) Makes you most lovable person
4.) Health and no disease
5.) Double the energy
6.) Tension, oh place at all
A.) A man moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his mom asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
After so much research, a man finds a book called "How to be the Man in your house". He goes through it and learns. After reading, he sets the book down stands up and says to his wife "From now onwards, my word is law. You will prepare and have ready a gourmet meal for me each evening on my return from work, you will then run me a bath, was my back and dry me off. We shall then make love the what I want to. Oh,and one more thing, guess who will be dressing me from head to toe in the morning", The wife looked up at him and replied " If I'm right it'll be the fkn undertaker"
B.) A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
C.) “Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"
D.) “You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."
E.) “Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"
F.) “I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"
G.) You: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from Heaven.
H.) Why do we trust the banks with our money, but they don't trust us with their pens?
I.) He who runs in front of a car gets tired, but he who runs behind a car gets exhausted!
j.) you're so short you can sit on the curb and swing your legs.
K.) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDSOME INTELLIGENT SENSITIVE MAN?
A: A RUMOR.
L.) What does 0 say to 8?
Ans : Nice belt!
Quick Jokes and funny stuff do the right thing for you baby so here we are going to help you by having the opportunity to let you read our newest collection of latest jokes.
But first let us aware you the endless benefits of having humor. Here are the major points here due to short of time:
1.) No space for boredom
2.) Liked by everyone
3.) Makes you most lovable person
4.) Health and no disease
5.) Double the energy
6.) Tension, oh place at all
A.) A man moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his mom asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
After so much research, a man finds a book called "How to be the Man in your house". He goes through it and learns. After reading, he sets the book down stands up and says to his wife "From now onwards, my word is law. You will prepare and have ready a gourmet meal for me each evening on my return from work, you will then run me a bath, was my back and dry me off. We shall then make love the what I want to. Oh,and one more thing, guess who will be dressing me from head to toe in the morning", The wife looked up at him and replied " If I'm right it'll be the fkn undertaker"
B.) A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
C.) “Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"
D.) “You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."
E.) “Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"
F.) “I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"
G.) You: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from Heaven.
H.) Why do we trust the banks with our money, but they don't trust us with their pens?
I.) He who runs in front of a car gets tired, but he who runs behind a car gets exhausted!
j.) you're so short you can sit on the curb and swing your legs.
K.) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDSOME INTELLIGENT SENSITIVE MAN?
A: A RUMOR.
L.) What does 0 say to 8?
Ans : Nice belt!