Jokes and Funny Lines You Can't Afford to Miss

Often, in the tight schedule of daily, we skip the laughter but it is not good. SO here we come with good jokes to be read in short time. So enjoy and spread. Hurray!


I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).


These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can’t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)


I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)

My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you’re the funniest guy I’ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you’re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"

How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

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